Wind in the Trees

It has been an absolutely glorious day here on the Eastern Shore of Mary-land. I decided too late in the day that I needed to be out in the yard with a book and a beverage. I was able to sit there for a decent interval before the sun set behind the garage, and the mosquitoes decided to attack. There's something about my chemical make-up that can draw a mosquito to me from great distances. Would that I had the same power over funny, smart, sexy men. :::sigh:::

Sitting there, listening to the wind in the trees, trying to read, I found myself composing in my head a letter to a person whom I've never met, but in recent days has exerted a profound influence over my thinking. I have been in the throes of the worst depression of my life. I've always suffered from depression, I realize now, but it's taken its form as a cycle, rather than a constant, in my life. This has been the lowest of low cycles, and it's lasted for far too long.

This is the letter:

Dear Sir,

We are not acquainted, and probably never will be. But you have shared your talent and your story, and I have been on the receiving end of your humor and your wisdom. I have seen you deflect praise or gratitude when offered to you, and I have heard you profess that you are only able to walk through your life as an honest person. You have said that "failure is not disgrace" and that as Americans, "we prepare for glory by failing until we don't." I can't tell you how deeply these words have touched me. My life has not gone according to any plan I ever made for myself, but I no longer feel like that makes me a failure. That's a weight I've carried around for most of my life. Now I'm able to put it down.

I'm still working my way out of the hole I've been digging, but I feel for the first time in a very long time that I'm making progress. I've adopted as my mantra, "Between safety and adventure, I choose adventure." Thank you for showing me that adventure is and always will be the better option.

With gratitude,

Kate